An Understanding for Fantasy, Role Play, & Fetish-Based Desires…
Part III in a continuing series. Please note that each article is a stand-alone entity, but all are precluded by a core preface: An Essential Introduction: http://anessentialintroduction.blogspot.com/
Fetish Based Desire:
The origin of a sexually based fetish lies in the fact that somewhere along the line an attachment to a particular attribute, fantasy, or want became linked-up with a sexual desire. Though continued focus, this fantasy or desire usually evolved into a primary fixation. If given a proper outlet, you have a sexual pursuit which harmlessly revolves around a particular want (& this can encompass literally anything). However, if such infatuations are not kept in their proper perspective, then they do have the possibility to grow into a full blown obsession, & this is not a healthy stance for any sexual practice.
Given the nature of its orientation, a particular fetish is usually very specific in its scope & context. It's simply a compulsive yearning that needs fulfillment or a desire that needs to be explored. However, one's 'attachment' can be carried into just about anything...
One can for instance be fixated on a particular attribute: A fetish for breasts, a foot fetish, legs, or even something as off-center as an amputee - you name it & there’s someone who has a fetish for it. Most people have a preference for this or that, but a fetish takes that preference to the extreme & builds a complete fantasy-based-obsession.
One can also have a fetish for a particular type of attire: Be it leather, latex, stockings, lingerie, a catholic school girl uniform - people often get turn people on by a particular look or feel of a certain fashion. The reason for this is usually pretty straight forward & this one category tends to be less specific in the context of its fixation. A person who has a desire for leather generally likes it in a variety of various styles & garments. However, there can also be some fairly obscure attachments to certain articles of dress or costume - gas masks for instance.
A person can also have a compulsion toward a particular fantasy: This can range from the realm of absolutely plain to truly deviant behavior. The fantasy itself is usually very specific, & one’s orientation to it is almost always a bit choreographed. Sometimes this can become such a profound obsession that a person is unable to achieve any level of sexual gratification unless they are able to play out a particular scene or enact a certain role. Other times it is more generalized & more of a fully evolved fantasy desire.
Indeed, ANYTHING that can form an attachment: Literally 'anything' can be made into a fetish based desire - as obscure as a sexual attachment to furniture, to even a fetish for getting kicked in the balls. In fact, with the advent of the internet even the most incomprehensible pursuits are no longer left in isolation. Just type in your key-words & add the term fetish, you'll soon find a group somewhere who shares a similar passion as yourself.
A person can also have a compulsion toward a particular fantasy: This can range from the realm of absolutely plain to truly deviant behavior. The fantasy itself is usually very specific, & one’s orientation to it is almost always a bit choreographed. Sometimes this can become such a profound obsession that a person is unable to achieve any level of sexual gratification unless they are able to play out a particular scene or enact a certain role. Other times it is more generalized & more of a fully evolved fantasy desire.
Indeed, ANYTHING that can form an attachment: Literally 'anything' can be made into a fetish based desire - as obscure as a sexual attachment to furniture, to even a fetish for getting kicked in the balls. In fact, with the advent of the internet even the most incomprehensible pursuits are no longer left in isolation. Just type in your key-words & add the term fetish, you'll soon find a group somewhere who shares a similar passion as yourself.
Fantasy Role Play:
The core essence to fantasy role-play is obviously not that deep. Generally, it’s nothing more than a personal desire to slip into another role & combine a moment of sexual desire with a bit of non-reality. It is the want to revisit a high school memory of being the football star who gets the girl (or the cheerleader who gets the guy; or even perhaps be the star you never were). It is a sense of living out the fantasy of having sex with your secretary when in real life you would never consider such a proposition. It’s a feeling of being absolutely powerless to another & having to ‘pay the rent’ any way you can (even though in reality you would never find yourself in such a position or would ever consider such a proposition). It’s any one of a thousand scenarios that have somehow been linked-up to form a basis for sexual desire. It's as simple & as harmless as watching a movie but instead you're an active participant.
However, just for the sake of clarity there are a couple of scenarios that may need some explanation (mainly because they are so often a point of contention with so many)…
Age Play - This is the desire to live out a fantasy that somehow involves a discrepancy in one's age (perhaps of pleasing ‘step-daddy’ or of being a ‘little-girl’). But for those who are posed with such a scenario, it’s important to understand that almost 99.99% of the time, such intrigue is NOT the desire to live out a pedophile fantasy. In short, this is a fantasy based on power & control over innocence, & it has nothing to do with someone wanting to make it with kids. A true pedophile would get nothing out of such a fantasy. At their core they’re predators & they don’t want the fantasy, they want the object of their desire. Also please note that the compounded issue of playing ‘step dad’ or ‘brother/sister’ almost never has anything to do with a desire for actual incest. Rather it is a desire to simply move into an area of sexual taboo (like sex with ‘the secretary’ - it's simply an area of forbidden fruit).
Rape Fantasy - Let's be clear, the woman who has a rape fantasy has absolutely NO desire to actually be raped. It's a fantasy based on the desire to be completely helpless & to do so in a context that carries a violent or objectified overtone. It is the desire to be ravaged. But make no mistake, it does not convey to reality in any manner.
Infantilism - This is the fairly rare & rather extreme desire to assume the role of an infant. This can often go as far as having one’s diaper changed or to actually be breast-fed. Keep in mind that as with age play, the function here has nothing to do with sexualizing an infant. This is a fantasy based almost completely in the need to relent total control & be nurtured. And yes, although I hate to say it, tomes of Freud actually do apply here…
Rape Fantasy - Let's be clear, the woman who has a rape fantasy has absolutely NO desire to actually be raped. It's a fantasy based on the desire to be completely helpless & to do so in a context that carries a violent or objectified overtone. It is the desire to be ravaged. But make no mistake, it does not convey to reality in any manner.
Infantilism - This is the fairly rare & rather extreme desire to assume the role of an infant. This can often go as far as having one’s diaper changed or to actually be breast-fed. Keep in mind that as with age play, the function here has nothing to do with sexualizing an infant. This is a fantasy based almost completely in the need to relent total control & be nurtured. And yes, although I hate to say it, tomes of Freud actually do apply here…
Transsexual vs. Transvestite Desires:
We’ll address concerns for the Transgender Community under ‘Sexual Orientation.’ But please keep in mind that the issues of a Transsexual are, from the perspective of the Transgender Culture, anything but a fetish. However, the desire for a Transsexual often falls under the category of a Fetish-based desire so that aspect we’ll address here.
The basic attraction for the Transgender Community is actually fairly common. And the community as a whole most certainly has a balance of supply & demand working in its favor. On the whole, they are pursued by the gay community as well as various aspects of the heterosexual & Bisexual Communities. The want for a transsexual in the gay community is partially one of sheer novelty, but predominantly due to a recognition of that diva quality that enunciates the most beautiful aspects of the female form in star-struck fashion. In both the Heterosexual & Bisexual communities, they are pursued primarily due to the result of a Same Sex Fetish (discussed in our article on bisexuality) or due to a certain degree of homosexual repression - the want for a male attribute with an otherwise female form.
Transvestites - One point of general confusion is the term Transvestite. A Transvestite is actually a cross-dresser. That is to say it’s actually a man (or woman) who dresses as the opposite sex for the purpose of gender-bending role play. They are however still the same sex & have made no physical augmentation to their sexual identity.
Transgender - A person who is Transgender has been surgically & physically altered to thus assume the identity of the opposite sex.
It must also be understood that transsexuals (as noted in our adjacent article) DO maintain a crisis with sexual identity. Transvestites on the other hand, generally do not. They are individuals with a specific fetish, & in fact many are not even gay. They simply enjoy playing the role of a woman for a specified period of time but have absolutely no interest in actually ‘becoming’ a woman (or less commonly visa versa woman to man).
A more detailed discussion will follow in our article regarding sexual identity.
- Richard A.D.
Also in our series, we offer the following articles for your consideration - each a subject onto its own, but all come together to comprise the full spectrum of the adult & alternative community:
- A Glossary of Terms: http://sceneterms.blogspot.com/
- Hosting Your Own Party: http://planyourownparty.blogspot.com/
- An Essential Introduction to Our Continuing Series: http://anessentialintroduction.blogspot.com/
- An Insiders Guide to the BDSM Community: http://understandingbdsm.blogspot.com/
- Fantasy, Role-Play, & Fetish Based Desires: http://understandingfetishfantasy.blogspot.com/
- Understanding Swingers, Poly, & Lifestyle Culture: http://understandingswingers.blogspot.com/
- Understanding the True Nature of Sexual Identity: http://understandingsexualidentity.blogspot.com/
- A Core Foundation - Understanding Sexual Repression: http://understandingsexualrepression.blogspot.com/
Brought to you by Richard A.D. & The Metro Underground...
Our intentions are simple: to serve as a fundamental gateway for the entire spectrum of the alternative, underground, & adult scene (for DC, Baltimore, & the Mid-Atlantic Region), to lift the fog for what's going on in & around the area, assist the promotion of the scene as a whole, & ultimately to provide a forum through which that bridges can be built - from one culture to another, & from one group to the next.
We hope you check it out,
Rick D~
(RichardAD)
The Metro Underground & DC Fetish Ball.
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